I grew up
In an era Where sex Was
declared Wrong Except in
certain Circumstances AKA
marriage By the
elders Those over
30
Those
under 30 Who rode
the surf Who sang
the ballads Who asked
us To give
peace A chance Taught
that sex Was fun A trip Of a
different sort
This was Beyond The scope Of my ken Sex was my
pain Sex was my
shame Sex was my
grief Crushing me With its
weight Suffocating
me
Sex
confused me Frightened
me Shamed me I
surrendered Dutifully While
memories Of force Of fear Of tears Overwhelmed
me
This was
the curse Left upon
me By a family Who never
wanted me Wondering
what was wrong With me Mea culpa Mea culpa Mea maxima
culpa
Sex was
easy Actors did
it All the
time On TV Everyone
else Could do it Why not me? Mea culpa Mea culpa Mea maxima
culpa
Why
couldn’t I Feel the
love Others
enjoyed Knowing it
was there Is not the
same Frustrated
at me Turned
inward Mea culpa Mea culpa Mea maxima
culpa
Sought my
evil Found it Attached
to my pain Protected
by my anger Which
frightened me Burnt its
roots Whenever
possible Mea culpa Mea culpa Mea maxima
culpa
Beneath I
found love Which the
Prophet John Told me
was all I need I learned To hold my
head high If only
for show Act as if
you have Sorta thing And feel
the Divine
Bit by bit Step by
step I learned I accepted I became I am not Inadequate I bear a
pain Which may
never Heal
I was
never a hippie I don’t
remember Being a
virgin Lilith my
Goddess Not by
choice She was
shoved Upon me At an
early age I bow to
Her wisdom I inhale
Her power
Knowing
the worst In humanity Is a
difficult Burden Fearing
the worst In myself The
consequence Never know
when my Grrrrrr Will pop
out
I seek the
Son In my
lover’s Eyes Finally Found
goodness Finally
found peace If only I
could vacuum His love
inside I could
let this go I could
forgive
